20 Fun Ways To Kill Ash Ketchum
by Username Requested
Summary: This  now a two-shot  is definately not for Ash-likers and is violent. Involves Character Death  Twenty times  It contains the constent death of Ash Ketchum, who I hate with a burning passion. Rated T because it might be violent and sick.
1. Chapter 1: The Twenty ways

**I HATE Ash Ketchum. So what better way to express how much I truly despise him, than writing 20 fun ways to kill him. =]. I might as well say I don't mind fan fiction versions of Ash but I hate the real him. I hate how he gets all the starters, and that apparently cares about pokemon more than other people combined, I just hate him so much.*Evil music* Enjoy. I do not own Pokemon.**

If you want to be a great Pokemon Master, there is only one thing you need to do. KILL ASH KETCHUM! Get rid of your biggest competition, so I'm supplying you with 20 ways to kill him and enjoy it.

If you have a fire type pokemon, burn him slowly and painfully. Sit back, relax and listen to his screams of pure agony *content sigh*.

Drown him. All you have to do is send out a water type that knows surf, corner him and then waves away.

Scyther is a very dangerous pokemon with those nasty looking blades. Perfect. Decapitating is the way to go. It works against everything =D.

Beat him to death with either a fighting type, or just beat him up yourself. All those Thunderbolt's or Thunder shock's must of made is bones frail and weak. Though I don't understand why he asks Pikachu to use it on him.

Stab him. Hey if you have very dangerous pokemon then why can't you have knives.

Send Misty on his pathetic ass. Just tell her that he thinks she's gay, then you get to watch him die painfully but you also don't get arrested ;).

Electrocute him. You have the pleasure of seeing him spaz before he dies.

Crush his skull. Pokemon use exp. share so put it on his head and keep on tightening it until his skull slowly cracks and smashes his brain.

Squish him. Easy solution, catch a big pokemon. Lay Ash on the ground and release it. It might not be as fun as the others but it will definitely kill him.

Tie him to a chair and teach him the whole periodic table. It will blow his tiny brain to pieces.

Half-way there now.

Shackle him to the ground and let a stampede of Rapidash stomp all over him.

Smash a T.V over his head.

Play Justin Bieber on a ipod and plug it into his ears. His eardrums will go boom and his brain will shatter from the badness of Justin Bieber's voice.

Get a pokemon to use Pyschic and tear his limbs apart.

Get a Ghost-type to possess him and jump him off a cliff and at the last second leave his body.

I myself will gladly kill him, I just need a plastic hammer, nail, something pointy and something blunt and he will be mutilated so badly that Jack The Ripper himself will puke at the sight of him.

Hit him over the head with a hammer, kidnap him and then make him do sick games that can make him wish he just died already.

Convince him to commit suicide. Hey he's already as stupid as a Magikarp.

Team Rocket will definitely want to kill him with all the times he's screwed up their plan. Though it might take a while before they realise that mugging him won't actually count as something bad to do to him.

Wrap him up in meat, dangle him over a lake, and wait for a Gyrarados to jump up and eat him.

**And I'm done my 20 ways to kill Ash Ketchum. Some might seem sick but honestly I don't care. I really enjoyed writing this so I really won't care what nasty reviews you'll send me like 'You're sick. Get a life you creep.' Or 'Was your Childhood messed up because dude, you're disturbing.' So what if I am. I am proud of the way I am. XD**


	2. Chapter 2: The Other Twenty ways

Most of the reviews I received asked me to make another '20 Fun Ways To Kill Ash Ketchum' so I put together 20 more. Forgive me if they don't sound so good since the first twenty was simple and I only know simple, and I don't really like simple though. I do not own Pokemon.

If you have an Ground type pokemon that knows fissure or any move that opens the ground in any way use it. It kills him and you don't have to clean up the mess.

Freeze him with ice type moves and smash the ugly sculpture of him up with a hammer until he's little pieces of ice on the ground.

Chop him up into tiny pieces and send the pieces to the far end of the Earth, JUST INCASE ANYONE WANTS TO DO SOME VOODOO SHIT TO BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE! (A/N: I got that one from Ask Milly. If you are very young and love Elmo as much as I do. DO NOT WATCH IT!)

Zombie apocalypse. Just offer Ash to the hordes of infected as a peace offering.

Hang him. Telecast it on YouTube and nearly everyone who hates him will subscribe. Which is probably the whole world. Since he's a whiny little bitch.

Talk some sense into his Pokemon. I mean they are probably hypnotised to not see how incredibly bitchy he is. They'll kill him for us all.

Tie him up on the Radio Tower's antenna in Johto while a thunderstorm is brewing.

Give him a knife and ask 'who's going to be the next Pokemon Master?' and watch him poke the knife through his chest as he attempts to point to himself.

There are plenty of agro Pokemon. Just piss them off and pray to god that Ash is stupid enough to try and settle it down and gets killed in the process.

Smash what's left of his small brain out with an evolution stone.

Ready for the next ten?

Go back in time and stop his mother Delia and whoever the hell his father is from conceiving him. Though I can't help but wonder. Did his father commit suicide by knowing he helped create a failure or did he just leave of said failure. I bet his mother did the same as his father a couple years later.

Lock him in a room with Justin Bieber, where Ash will kill himself just by being in his very presence.

By not getting the pokemon to revive him in the first pokemon movie. Sure I was crying when he died but they were tears of happiness. I wept for a while after he came back to life. Though I find it a little strange that the pokemon cried for Ash and they barely knew him, and yet Misty, Brock and the other trainers didn't look like they cried.

Feed him Poison. Easy, simple fun to watch him gasp for air.

Feed him his own cooking. It sucks, really badly.

Push him off Mt. Coronet, Mt. Moon, Mt. Silver or any other kind of Mountain in the strange Pokemon world.

Bury him alive in the underground that runs underneath Sinnoh.

Let Drifloon carry him off to the underworld. He's the Devil's problem now.

Kick him into the Distortion World with Giratina. He will be dead in no time since he cannot seem to stop flapping those fat lips of his.

Last one now.

Give him to Jigsaw from Saw. He will probably be so stupid as to cut off the wrong foot, hand or any other limb.

Hope you liked this special twenty. Because I absolutely love writing these. If I come up with another twenty I will be sure to put it on FanFiction. Hope you enjoyed reading it. =)


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